I'm a cheater... and I'm kind of glad.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Today I didn't wake up and think to myself, "Today, I will cheat". But that's what I did. And to be honest, I don't necessarily feel all that bad about it. Let me explain.

I have been on the HCG diet for 20 days. For anyone who has ever been on this diet I think they will agree with me whole-heartedly when I say it is incredibly difficult. It's not the lack of calorie consumption but the very restricted meats, veggies, and fruits you are allowed. It leaves very little in the way of variety. I was in all honesty getting bored. I had gone 20 days without cheating a tiny bit, not even in seasonings. I have spent 20 days saying no to dinner invitations with family or coffee with friends because I have such a restricted diet it is impossible to go out. Today, my office decided to treat all of us to pizza for lunch. As soon as I got the OK to send in the order, something inside my head snapped and I decided I am going to have some pizza today. One meal, for me this time, will not be the be all end all of my diet. I was tired of feeling like I always have to say no. So, I had some pizza, and of course didn't feel all that great. It tasted good don't get me wrong, but I didn't physically feel great for the rest of the day. I was sleepy and all around blah.

Having that pizza actually made me realize even more than before that I am eating to live, not living to eat. 20 days ago, I would have eaten a ton of pizza, topped it off with soda and then had something fattening and nasty for dinner! Today I came home and am not hungry at all. Instead of laying on the couch, I got up and did some exercises games on the Kinect and then did a mile on the elliptical. Having that pizza made me realize that all of the fattening things I have been dreaming about being able to eat once I am off HCG are not worth it. They don't make my body feel good because there is nothing nutritional about them. All my cravings that have been in the back of my mind for the last 20 days are gone. I don't want the sugar, cheese, butter, or chocolate. Even the thought of soda is repulsing me right now. Experiencing how my body feels on healthy foods in a direct comparison with the unhealthy is a world of difference and such a wake up call. I have come to the realization that I am not depriving myself, I am allowing myself thrive instead.

For me, cheating today actually was a positive thing for me and my entire outlook on this weight loss journey. I have been saying "No thank you, I can't have that" and from now on I'll be saying " No thank you I would like to have a healthier option."

I do not regret doing this diet, and I know I have the will power behind me to finish these last 23 days and way beyond!

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